Skip to content

Tag: family

“I’m Tired of You” – Parenting in the Time of Corona

I read a blog post yesterday from a blogger that I have followed since Hallee the Homemaker was brand-new. So, about twelve years. This article completely gave me pause and I have been mulling over what a read for the last twenty-four hours and really feel like I need to address it. The gist of it was, in the face of Corona parenting, she was sitting at dinner with her family and looked at everyone and said, “I’m tired of you.” And then she followed that up with the fact that that phrase, “I’m tired of you,” is not in any parenting book, but it should be.

Y’all, no.

It’s possible that I’m coming at this with the perspective of someone who already has a grown child. My oldest is twenty-three, and she is grown and gone. And I miss her. On a good month, I see her twice. On a normal month, I see her once. And I love spending time with her, I love talking to her, I love interacting with her via text messages and Instagram and the ways that we interact as mother and daughter. But the fact is, there is a hole in our family because she’s not here anymore. Gregg and I had a job to do with her. We were to raise a wise, independent, functional adult who loves Jesus and obeys God. And we did that. We did it really well. But it doesn’t change the fact that that seat next to me at dinner time is empty.

I understand that perspective is unique to some people in regards to this concept.

Nevertheless.

I have a family because I want those people in my life. I married Gregg because I love him and respect him and want to live and do life with him. We made a family together and we love and cherish our children. We discipline them, mold them, love them, pray for them, pray with them, teach them — and that’s our job. There’s nothing about that job that’s easy. But, there’s nothing more rewarding than the end of the day as I think back to the day about what we learned and what we talked about and what I was able to teach our children. There is truly nothing more rewarding.

Like everyone else, our family has been home since mid-March. Unlike a lot of families, my husband’s job is something that can be done remotely. Because he is high risk, he has been home since February. We still don’t go to church . We don’t go to Bible study. We still don’t have play dates. Because Gregg is high risk. It is our family…all the time.

We are together two meals a day, sitting across from the table with each other. We come together we go apart. We come together we go apart. The boys have bedrooms that they go to and we have a large living room that they come back into. Gregg and I have offices that we go to and we have a large living room that we come back into. We watch movies, we play games, we talk to each other, we laugh with each other, and we are together most of the time.

And I don’t feel like I am tired of my family. I don’t feel like I need to break away from them. If I need a moment, I can go outside or go take a bath or something. And no one will bother me.

My point is, those words are not helping any parent. The perpetuation that that is a normal thought is not a healthy thing to put out to the world.

The concept that it’s not in any parenting handbook but it should be.

No!

No, it shouldn’t be. If that’s how you’re feeling, then there is something deficient in your mind, your heart, or in your parenting. And that is something that should be a very sincere and serious focus of reflection and prayer. Why am I feeling this way? What is deficient? How can I fix it? Here is a great resource where you can start exploring: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/

It’s not something for which we should strive, this normality of feeling like I’m tired of my family.

Also, to say that to your children in this terrifying, unprecedented time, when NOTHING in their lives are normal and they don’t even know how to process the news they hear or the conversations adults have in their presence… ya’ll, just NO.

Again, like I said, maybe I’m coming from a perspective of someone who already has a child out of the house and so I know what it feels like once they’re gone. Or maybe I am the one unique.

How do you feel about it?

Pin It
4 Comments

30 Days of Thankfulness Day 14

I often post a list of all the things for which I’m thankful on Thanksgiving. But, in an effort to get back into the habit of daily blogging, I’ve decided to do a post a day for the month of November.

14. My Siblings

siblings2

Out of four children, I’m the second oldest (and at 5’11” the SHORTEST!) My brother, Jim, is 16 months older than me, my brother, Ty, is 3.5 years younger, and my sister, Misty, is 5 years younger.

Our parents encouraged us to follow our dreams, to create, to imagine. We lived in a household where movies were adored and discussed and dissected. A household where books were consumed with equal passion.

My older brother has a degree in cinematography, and is an accomplished hip hop DJ with a weekly radio program. He lives in Sydney, Australia, blogs with amazing beauty and insight, and freelances as a writer on the music scene.

My younger brother has an art degree and is an amazing cartoonist. He does everything from a series of super heroes that he dreamed up as a child to a comic strip that battles culture woes and Christian worldviews. Some of my favorite work of his are his collaborative drawings with his 6-year-old daughter. I’ve never really seen anyone so patient and so loving with kids, and remember him drawing with Kaylee when she was that age.

My sister has a degree in journalism and English. She’s the managing editor of an award-winning newspaper and teaches college classes part time. She does this while juggling married life and three very active children. Her columns are so brilliant, and her writing draws readers in and makes them feel like she’s talking directly to them.

When we get together, it’s as if we were never apart. Conversations come easy and we are loud and rambunctious, talking over each other to talk about the last movie seen or share a recent experience. It’s comfortable and our kind of normal and full of love and mutual respect.

I’m so thankful for my siblings and look forward to seeing them whenever I can.
Hallee Bridgeman Precious Signature


I’m so grateful for your visit, today.
You would bless me if you added me to your Subscribe via any Reader feed reader or subscribed Subscribe via Email via email.
You can also become a fan on Become a Facebook Fan Facebook or follow me on Follow me on Twitter Twitter. I would love to see more of you!


Leave a Comment

30 Days of Thankfulness Day 12

I often post a list of all the things for which I’m thankful on Thanksgiving. But, in an effort to get back into the habit of daily blogging, I’ve decided to do a post a day for the month of November.

12. Our Home

rose garden homedining room
I love our home. It’s a compact house on a rather busy residential street in small town Kentucky. We had to convert a bedroom to create a dining room, and I have to share that dining room for my office, but I love our home. The backyard is big enough to hold the dog, the kids, and a relatively large garden. We utilize every single room inside, and have a huge basement that holds way too much storage (I am so enamored of the simplicity & less is more mindset and am making the basement my goal for the year.)
Inside these walls, we have a happy family, often noisy boys, and a teen who brings friends home. My family gathers in the same room. When we watch television, we all watch the same thing. When we share a meal, it’s at the table in the dining room. When I lie in my bed, I can hear the kids in their rooms. We are in walking distance to the boys’ school and less than 2 miles from our church.
We looked at SO MANY houses when we were moving to Kentucky. When we walked into this one, we knew this was exactly what we needed and wanted. It has served us well these six years. We are currently looking to buy land a build a homestead, but it is by no means a reflection of any discontent with this home at all.

Hallee Bridgeman Precious Signature


I’m so grateful for your visit, today.
You would bless me if you added me to your Subscribe via any Reader feed reader or subscribed Subscribe via Email via email.
You can also become a fan on Become a Facebook Fan Facebook or follow me on Follow me on Twitter Twitter. I would love to see more of you!


Leave a Comment

Children & My Muse

kidsMy children are on Spring Break.  This is day #2.  I have three children- a 16-year old girl, a 6-year-old boy, and a 4-year-old boy.  The girl, she’s awesome, but likes to have some form of entertainment going at all times – television, radio, Youtube.

“The boys” as they’ve been classified as a single entity, are loud and crazy and, well, boys.  They also don’t sleep like “normal” children.  I read of people putting children to bed at 7PM and then letting them sleep until 9AM.  That’s insane to me.  My kids are often still awake at 9:30-10:00PM, and are usually wide awake by 6AM.  This morning, I got up at 5AM hoping to get a little work done.  Child #1 woke up at 5:45.

Whatever part of my brain I access when I’m writing fiction, I cannot access when my kids are awake and present.  I’m interrupted far too many times (in the course of these three paragraphs, I’ve had a discussion about “brain freeze” and “Ninjago Spinjitzu”).  The noise of the television or computer totally distracts me.  I’m constantly listening for a crash or bickering or something else that will require my attention.

It makes it hard when I have a self-imposed deadline to finish A Melody for James by Wednesday this week.  Thursday morning, I’m leaving my family in Kentucky and heading to the Pacific Northwest to attend the celebration of life of my grandmother who passed away in December.  I’d love to be able to hand the complete book over for editing while I’m gone, so that when I return, I can send it off to my beta readers.

I think that my decision to NOT write this summer and instead, focus on my garden and enjoying the summer break with my kids is a good idea.  Because, trying to work when I can’t is NOT enjoyable, and I’d hate to make summer a burden for any of us.
Hallee Bridgeman Precious Signature


I’m so grateful for your visit, today.
You would bless me if you added me to your Subscribe via any Reader feed reader or subscribed Subscribe via Email via email.
You can also become a fan on Become a Facebook Fan Facebook or follow me on Follow me on Twitter Twitter. I would love to see more of you!


Leave a Comment

30 Days of Bloggity Bloggness: Day 15

Day 15: A moment you’ve felt satisfied with your life

I’ve had this open all day and couldn’t really come up with an answer.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-22 says:

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophecies. Test all things; hold fast what is good.  Abstain from every form of evil.

I make an effort constantly to be true to this passage.  I try always to be thankful and constantly pray.  What this does, in effect, is not make me unsatisfied — which is why I don’t think I can come up with a moment of satisfaction.  I want very much to be in God’s will, whether that makes me satisfied personally or not.

I realize this is a non-answer.  I just can’t think of a moment I was “satisfied” with my life.

At this moment in time, sitting here right now next to my husband (who happens to not be in Afghanistan) I think I can come up with one answer.

On August 14th, Gregg came home permanently from Afghanistan.  We started a “normal” life, he’s working a “normal” job.  My marriage is strong, my kids are healthy and well behaved, my church is amazing, my books are being released, it’s almost time to plant the garden, our 1-year-old puppy is almost completely house broken…at this moment in time, I’m quite satisfied with my life.
Hallee Bridgeman Precious Signature


I’m so grateful for your visit, today.
You would bless me if you added me to your Subscribe via any Reader feed reader or subscribed Subscribe via Email via email.
You can also become a fan on Become a Facebook Fan Facebook or follow me on Follow me on Twitter Twitter. I would love to see more of you!


Leave a Comment

30 Days of Bloggity Bloggness: Day 4

Day 4: Your parents or siblings

My parents are pretty awesome people.  They were high school sweethearts and were married the weekend before my mom’s 20th birthday in 1968.  My dad was a career Army soldier and my mom was an Army wife who was such a natural at it that she made the life seem easy and effortless.  I remember when my husband was in Afghanistan in 2002, I called my mom and said, “This isn’t easy.  How did you make it look easy?”

My dad retired in 1999 and then worked in a very tradition-oriented and respected boys’ military boarding school in Wisconsin.  During his career there, he was able to lead, mentor, and impact the lives of hundreds of boys.  I love seeing him interact with them in social media and seeing the love and respect they hold for him.

Dad is retired fully now and, after living in all four corners of the country and various places in between in their long career, they made their retirement home in a small town in the mountains of West Virginia.  Visiting them and spending time with them is one of my favorite things to do.

My mom and I share the same taste in movies – preferring action/car chases/adventure over, well, almost anything that would be considered a good movie by the critics.  She used to be an avid romance novel reader, then an avid mystery reader, and is now an avid crossword puzzle buff.  She’s brilliant and gets bored with normal crosswords and instead has books from early 20th century New York Times Sunday puzzles — meaning she has to learn the vernacular of that time period in order to do the puzzle.

My dad is a Bible scholar.  When I was in my early 20’s and he was in his late 40’s, he wrote me a letter that said, “Start studying your Bible now.  Don’t wait until you’re older like me.  I study and study as hard as I can, and I learn something new every day.  I fear that even if I lived to be 100, there isn’t enough time left on earth for me to learn everything I can learn from the Bible.”

Both of my parents are very active in their church, heading classes, committees, singing in the choir, and serving as leadership and ushers.  I love their hearts for serving God.

in Abu Dhabi

My older brother is just 16 months older than me.  He’s uber smart.  I always loved when we had to move to a new school, because for one year, in the eyes of the teachers, I wasn’t “Jim’s sister” and therefore didn’t have quite the expectations placed on me.  He majored in film at USC (and was there during the Rodney King riots way back in the early 90’s — if that doesn’t age us — heh.)  He made his home in New York City for about 20 years where he did everything from DJ hip-hop music (which he still does often) to working as a produce expert at Whole Foods  before relocating to Sydney, Australia with his Aussie wife.  Jim and his wife work in Abu Dhabi for part of the year, and Sydney for the other part, working with the Abu Dhabi and Sydney film festivals.  Gregg and I had a chance to visit them in Abu Dhabi and had a wonderful time visiting with them.  My brother is a freelance writer, and blogs about being an American in Austria at Outernational and about all things music and movies at Feral Kid.  My brother Jim is a good man with a good heart and a love and respect for all life that just seems almost out of place in this crazy, selfish world in which we live.

My younger brother is almost four years younger than me.  Ty is a brilliant artist who, even as a child, spent his summers designing comic book characters and drawing them from dozens of different ways from dozens of different angles, over and over again, and was commissioned to illustrate a series of children’s books when he was just in high school.  He studied art at Clark University in Worchester, MA, and left the Boston area after college with a group of friends to make his home in Chicago.  He has many of our father’s leadership traits, and is rising quickly through the ranks of a major natural foods grocery chain, while he continues in his comic book ventures by night.  He and his Chicago-native wife have a daughter who falls, age-wise, almost exactly in between Scott and Johnathan.  In fact, they found out they were pregnant when I was in the hospital having Scott.  One of my favorite things my brother does is to create art “collaborations” with his daughter, letting her draw while he colors in or vice-versa.  It is so much fun to see him encouraging her embracing of his passion in life.

My sister is five years younger than me.  Misty is absolutely brilliant and has always been a very strong personality with natural leadership skills inherited from our dad.  She knew very early on in life that she wanted to be a journalist, and worked on high school and then college newspapers until she graduated from Fairmont College (now University) in West Virginia.  She was immediately hired by the Times West Virginian and on her first day on the job, while writing the piece for a major story she’d had to cover, she realized she was doing exactly what God intended for her to do with her life.  In 2009, at the age of 31, she became the Managing Editor of her paper — a feat unheard of for not only her age, but for a woman her age.  She married the sports reporter from her paper and had a very cool New York Yankee’s themed wedding (with the rolled up programs being handed to guests out of newspaper bags).  She has three children — a son who is very very good at soccer, a daughter who dances competitively, and a son who is age-wise in between Scott and Johnathan, who loves Star Wars and superheroes with a passion that rivals only my sons.  Since she lives in the same town as my parents, I get to see her a whole lot more often than my brothers, and I love that.

That is my family.  We are a close family, and I think that’s fantastic considering how the world is kind of crumbling around us.  We don’t all get to be together in the same continent very often, but when we do it’s wonderful.  I miss my family and as much as I love the military life we lived, the downside is the lack of same-town roots — or at least same-state roots — as adults.


Hallee Bridgeman Precious Signature


I’m so grateful for your visit, today.
You would bless me if you added me to your Subscribe via any Reader feed reader or subscribed Subscribe via Email via email.
You can also become a fan on Become a Facebook Fan Facebook or follow me on Follow me on Twitter Twitter. I would love to see more of you!


1 Comment