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Tag: parenting boys

Perspective and Verbiage

Last night Jeb said, “Farewell to the worse year of my life!”

So, I pulled my amazing 12-year-old into my arms and we had a conversation about perspective and verbiage.

2020 started with us praying daily for my brother and his family as the wildfires ravaged Australia and that mental stress morphed into the stress of the virus. We mourned the loss of friends’ family members. And, above all, there has been an overhanging fear of the uknown, fear of the virus, fear of doing something wrong and bringing it home. The boys went weeks before they ever left the house, doing virtual school, virtual taekwondo, virtual music lessons, while Gregg and I ran necessary errands. We have to mask up, hand sanitize, not play with friends, not shop and eat out like we used to.

Last night we talked about the fact that they’re living through unprecedented times. This era will be talked about historically the way we talk about the Black Plague and Smallpox eras. They’re observing things their children and grandchildren will want to hear about. They’re processing adults’ actions and reactions to the way the world is reacting to the fear and the stress. They’re listening to commentaries, listening to adults, watching Youtube videos.

Our entire world has suffered an extreme impact from this virus and we don’t even know what the repercussions of that are going to look like in five, ten, fifteen years. Globally financially, globally healthily, globally emotionally – we don’t know.

Domestically, this country is in a state of unrest that is like a tinderbox. Scott will vote for the first time in the next Presidential election, but this one was such a mess, we have no idea what that will look like. Riots and demonstrations came into our local area and the boys observed and listened to us and Kaylee talking about the overwhelming injustice of the Breonna Taylor incident and all of the things going wrong there.

My parents both lost their brothers and our families cannot come together to mourn.

Ultimately, 2020 WAS the worse year of his life, but he’s had a good life and he had a good year. Our family grew closer, our home remained virus-free. Our pantry was stocked, our freezers full, our movie supply will never run out, our games cabinet is full of family board games, and he is the master of Mexican train dominoes. He always wanted to be homeschooled and coming home for virtual school in March taught us that I could indeed homeschool and write at the same time, which has set us on that path – the best path for these boys. We redecorated his room, changed out the furniture, updated his computer, and set him up with two big monitors in his room. He has a new bike, a new hoverboard, read a few amazing books series, generated an online Fortnite community, and will test for his blackbelt this month.

It’s a scary, unknown time, but we all talked about how we believe, how we trust, how we KNOW, that God knew this was coming, knows how we’re doing, and knows what it looks like five, ten, fifty years from now. Nothing is a surprise to Him. As long as we live according to His word, love Him, trust Him, praise His holy name, then whatever happens…happens. And whatever the outcome is…the outcome. And we can lean on that and garner strength in the secure knowledge of God’s hand in our life, in our purpose for Him.

So we toasted to the new year, said farewell to the last year, and tried not to feed into the hype that the year carried with it a stigma that is suddenly gone and everything can now right itself.

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Monday Morning Chat – Boys Have No School Episode 1

Hello! Welcome to Monday morning coffee and chat!

I really appreciate all of the questions that I get from my readers. Today I’m joined by my boys and we’re answering reader questions about life and autism.

Thank you for your questions for them. They had a great time answering:


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Autism: Boys of Summer

Our son Johnathan has been desperate to join a baseball team. We promised him when he turned 8 that he could start playing baseball. So as February turn into March, I started looking through school papers more carefully to make sure that I didn’t miss the notice for baseball sign ups.

When we got the announcement a couple weeks ago, we were thrilled to see that this league has a special needs baseball team. Scott cannot bounce a rubber ball and catch it. He also can’t throw one in the air and catch that. These are physical limitations that have to do with the wiring in his brain – things is occupational therapist knows about and works with. (Though, she did tell us that he’s spot-on with a spitball, and we’re waiting for him to get old enough to possibly join a shooting team, because she said she’s never seen any kid with his accuracy before. Spit balls — who knew occupational therapy could be so fun.)

He’s 10. Kids his age have been playing ball since they were 5 or younger. We fully planned to put Scott on the special needs team.

Yesterday, we packed up the boys up to go sign up for baseball. On the way there, Gregg told me that he felt like we should let Scott sign up for a regular team. His reasoning was that he doesn’t want to apply limits that may not be necessary to apply. He said he would rather give him an opportunity to play a regular team and if he fails, move him to the special needs team.

I’ll admit that I was uneasy about that, because beyond his physical limitations with ball catching, Scott has never played team sports, and struggles with more than two-step directions.

At the community center, I filled out the paperwork and just hesitated over registering Scott for the older team. It didn’t feel right. So, we asked the coach if Scott could play on the younger team with his brother.

The coach explained that league rules allowed for younger kids to play up, but not older kids to play down. That’s understandable. You could stack a team with young Babe Ruths in order to sweep the series — I get that. Disappointed, I said that Scott had autism and had never played before. The coach immediately assured us that an autism diagnosis would probably allow for him to play down and stay on a team with his younger brother — provided we had an official medical diagnosis. He would take it to the coaches council and seek special permission, but he’s never seen it denied for autism.

We’re elated. This is a great compromise. We still have the power to move Scott to the special needs team, but we’re being given an opportunity to let him try to participate without applying any limits to his abilities — because while he can’t bounce a rubber ball and catch it, we don’t know what he can do with a bat gripped in his hands or a glove giving him a larger surface area in which to catch the ball.

We have about a month before any true practice begins. The weather is nice here in Kentucky, as winter is giving way to spring. I know that Gregg and the boys will be outside as often as possible, toning muscles and building hand-eye coordination as the two prepare to start playing baseball for the first time.


I’m so grateful for your visit, today.
You would bless me if you added me to your Subscribe via any Reader feed reader or subscribed Subscribe via Email via email.
You can also become a fan on Become a Facebook Fan Facebook or follow me on Follow me on Twitter Twitter. I would love to see more of you!

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